1. You have the same thing for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every freakin day.

2. You still look forward to breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

3. You eat Tums every day to fulfill your daily calcium needs.

4. You boil AND filter your water, yet still get sick each time you drink it. Sidenote: Bottled water is not sold in your village.

5. You have tried to use your own saliva to swallow your malaria prophylaxis (not recommended… at all) in a vain effort to avoid the aforementioned gastrointestinal issues.

6. You are no longer alarmed when you are awoken in the middle of the night by the bumping and crashing in your kitchen. But you swear to Allah… if those bats ate the last of your fruit again… you will suddenly be motivated to build a solar powered flame thrower (Is that possible? You enginerds, you. Holler at me). Bats. It’s what’s for dinner.

7. You have nearly burned down your house several times with the help of your kerosene lantern and/or butane stove top.

8. You wake up at 4:30 every day. This is what happens when you go to bed at 9:00 in order to conserve candles, matches, and kerosene.

9. You have a permanent scar on your right ankle thanks to the exhaust pipe of the countless dilapidated motos (motorcycle taxis) which you have no choice but to take.

10. You marvel at the hi-tech wonder that is Sudoku.

11. You burst out in spontaneous psychopathic laughter… several times a day… even when you are the only one in the house…

12. You miss “the hole…” and then you laugh some more, as you realize that the TP is just out of arm’s reach.

13. On one of your beloved, yet intermittent, ventures into “the city,” you go to lunch at La Plaza. You are seated next to an expatriate family and overhear one of the sons call the other a “douche.” You think to yourself, “A shower? What kind of insult is that??” You also have forgotten the English equivalent for intricate words such as “hier.”

14. Speaking of showers, you have not had one in almost 3 weeks… and you are still the best smelling person in your village.

15. Lastly, you find yourself unintentionally re-enacting scenes such as the following: My brother on a particularly thrilling day last summer in Ghana:

Random Bit: In Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Hermione had to write an essay for one of her classes, explaining why Muggles need electricity. Guess I’m not a Muggle! Told you, Animal! Booyah!! That’s right!! I said it!! My Logic professor would be so proud of my contemporary intellectual ponderings and conclusions.

posted by Me at 2:54 PM